Aye matey. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. “Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. See how far you can go with a straight face, we dare you ;-). Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? Wow amazing jokes love them soooo much !!! Lady: Don’t try to be funny. So for people who need a hearty laugh, here are some hilarious jokes. I have been loving for the last two days. We have very funny jokes. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming. 21 Jokes So Stupid They're Actually Funny. Read this, it is a really good joke: So there are three boys called: Shut Up, Manners, and Poo. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. With a monkey wrench. #17 Is EPIC . What did one hat say to the other? Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. Yo Momma Jokes; Top Articles. But sometimes, it's the simple, to-the-point one-liners that are funniest. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. BuzzFeed Staff. Between you and me, something smells. Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy? Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! So I pushed her over. Because it was two tired! I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work. Want to up your joke game? Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.” Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?” Harry: “Shake hands.” The principal was trembling. They woke him up. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. by Jessica Misener. I’ll go on ahead. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Because he couldn't see that well. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M. The boy shouts from the other side of the door: “Maybe an elephant!” Submitted by Nmg over at funny stories. They got stuck at C. I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish. Spysquirrel. I enjoyed a lot, thank you very much. I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing. Some jokes are simply funny & some are plain stupid jokes. Waiter: Funny? Angrily, back into the house she went. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. 110 of the best jokes for kids that are genuinely funny With the Easter holidays here, and no guarantee of good weather, no parent wants a house of bored children on […] By Alex Nelson. But then why aren’t you laughing? It’s a shame they’ll never meet. Absolutely not! Today, our schedule is so packed that we don’t even have time to laugh or smile properly. The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E. One boy says: “Elephant.” Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T. The same boys says: “Two elephants.” The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behaviuor. Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? What did the traffic light say to the car? Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. trapped? "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." On the dark side. Our Top 100 of the best and funniest jokes will make you laugh for a long time. Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much. I could only say, “Dude, that is the last thing … The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! I have no jokes at alll how boring I am. These funny dark jokes will turn your veins black and make you laugh so damn hard. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. They can make anyone laugh and I think most of us know the importance of laughing and being happy. “Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. Really Short Funny Jokes. BuzzFeed Staff. The good news is there's certainly no short supply. Do *not* read it! Read these wonderful jokes people. 24) After 7 … Anonymous. Don't believe us? See TOP 10 witty one-liners. “Bravo, bravo! “Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks. Police: “What is your name?” Shut Up: “Shut up.” Police: “Where is your manner?” Shut Up: “Down the well picking up Poo.”, AcademicTips.org 1999–2021 • Privacy • Back to top ↑. All in a night’s work. Ketchup. The kid responded, “Yes!” The teacher said, “Who do you think you are?” The kid said, “Michael Jackson.” The teacher said, “How do you think you are going to get away with this…” The kid said, “Driving in my bruum bruum car driving in my broom broom car.” Hope u enjoy ……. I’ve got a … My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”. Not all jokes are meant for kids, that is why we have specifically listed these jokes for adults. Everyone loves witty jokes. Jamie Masada. by. • On this page you will find funny lawyer jokes, old people jokes, job jokes, national jokes, truth jokes, vehicle jokes, funny fart jokes, question jokes and marriage jokes. He neverlands. His response to the shocked looks of the others was, "In America, we have lots of these." Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. Lets roll. People are dying to get in. Here come the longer funny jokes! I’ll meet you at the corner! Sorry not sorry (but really, sorry). Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet? She still isn't talking to me. Really Funny One Liners and Very Short Jokes • Here is our collection of really funny one liners - sharp and humorous firepower quickly delivered in one sentence (sometimes two). And a chair. - Very Funny Jokes about Countries and Countrymen An American, a Russian, and a Pole were riding on a train. it’s time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. DOCTOR! There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted. You'll have to prove it. I'm so good at sleeping. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. Day and night.” Polly: “But why does she read it so much?” Elaine: “I guess she’s cramming for her finals.”, I feel great while reading……… no tension, no pain , Read this, it’s funny. And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". joke bank -Latest Jokes . As your little one's sense of humor progresses, so does the fun. You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor. A teacher asked a student, “Do you know the alphabet?” The kid said no so the teacher said, “Well, tomorrow you gonna have to say the alphabet to me.” The kid went home and asked his mom, “Mom, what’s the 1st letter of the alphabet?” His mom responded, “Sshhh I’m on the phone.” The kid asked his dad, “Dad, what is the 2nd letter of the alphabet?” His dad said, “Yes!” He then asked his sister, “What’s the 3rd letter of the alphabet?” She said, “Michael Jackson. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. “Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. These nuggets of gold were diligently sourced for and not just randomly picked. According to the latest search data available to us, dark jokes are searched for nearly 110,000 times per month. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Header Menu Menu Random Jokes; Categories; Joke Pages; Submit a Joke; Broken Gorilla. The librarian says "They're right behind you!". Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life? Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. They take the physco path. These hilarious jokes are so silly that even the most serious people can't help but laugh at them. A carrot. Read on to discover the best clean jokes that promise a whole lot of giggles for both adults and kids alike.. 101 Clean Jokes. 7779 2963. We have all kinds of dirty adult jokes and some can be really offensive, nevertheless, we have made a compilation of some dirty jokes full of humour to amuse your dirty mindset. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. Posted on October 8, 2020 by Jokes Comments. A mother takes her three son’s to enroll in school. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs. Here are 35 funny kids' jokes – from classic knock-knocks to silly riddles – to share with your child, take to playdates, and bust out at birthday parties. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery. How does Darth Vader like his toast? "That's a load off of my mind. That’s against the law! Principal: “What is 3×3?” Harry: “9” Principal: “What is 6×6?” Harry: “36” And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.